Some of my favourite games of all time are those endlessly replayable titles that I can’t help but come back to over and over again. Usually these are Roguelikes like Spelunky, Vampire Survivors, or more recently Balatro. There’s something so wonderful about putting so much time into a game that you know it inside and out but there still being that element of randomness that can catch you by surprise and ruin a run, and it’s why I personally never tire of this genre. If you were struck by Balatro fever in 2024 then I’m afraid then there could be a new affliction coming your way this year, and its name is The Royal Writ.
Despite sharing some DNA with everyone’s favourite Joker game, The Royal Writ has a rather colourful theming and even a little narrative surrounding its deck building. Fighting to take a medieval kingdom back as its fabulous strutting king, you’ll need to use your charming animal units to deal enough damage in each battle to proceed. It’s a bright shock to the system if you’re used to Balatro, but it also definitely doesn’t get in the way of the fun.
How battles in The Royal Writ work is actually fairly straightforward at a basic level, but takes a bit of getting used to. You have a selection of units you’ll draw from your deck each turn, and you can place them in the first column of the battlefield. These units come in two colours, blue units which deal a specific amount of damage a round and red units which multiply the total damage by their number. Once you’ve placed all your cards you end the turn and all the units march forward, dealing damage towards the total that you need to hit to win the fight.
In the next round you can place more cards in the now empty left column, and all the numbers from both rounds combine to deal much more damage. This is a massive oversimplification though, as columns closer to the right have extra multipliers they’ll apply to your cards too. Certain squares on the battlefield will have different effects as well, like bridges that grant extra power or pit traps that negate a unit entirely for a turn. If it sounds overwhelming here that’s because frankly those early hours are, and it’ll unfortunately put some off continuing this wonderful march to victory.
The complexity obviously doesn’t end here either, because this is a Roguelike deck builder. Different units have different effects, and getting the right combination of these will ensure you deal the most massive damage imaginable. An easy early option is to focus on ants, who grow stronger when fighting together so you just need to gather loads of them. One of my favourite units was a worm who started as a really weak multiplier unit, but gained extra power permanently by standing on different types of space. Anytime I grabbed this wriggly fella early enough he’d carry me to victory as the run progressed.
Although you’d think a deck builder like The Royal Writ would be all about curating the perfect card based army, it’s also a lot of the time about adapting your deck on the fly because units constantly die. The simplest way this happens is by letting them reach the enemy side of the screen in a battle, but there are also status effects, injuries and even dental incidents which will cost you those precious soldiers. Whereas a lot of Deck builders are about the careful strategy of piecing together a master deck, The Royal Writ is more of a mad bloody dash to victory where losses are inevitable.
There are plenty of ways to replenish your army though, on those familiar branching paths waiting for you between battles. There’s a wonderful variety of ways to upgrade your deck for the coming skirmishes, like betting on horses to upgrade units or pulling out the teeth of your cards (which either kills or injures them) for powerful artifacts that grant passive boosts. You can even spend money upgrading the entire battlefield to ensure maximum bonuses to your cards as they march on your rivals. It’ll take some trial and error to discover the best way to succeed in The Royal Writ, so don’t be disheartened when you fail a few runs.
Just when I thought I’d got to grips with The Royal Writ and proudly beat my first run, the game mocked me by opening up Act 2. This entirely new game mode features different cards, and an all new mechanic involving bullets shooting from the enemy which will either damage your units or your king depending on if you let your animal compatriots duck or not. I must admit the extra punishment of this second part of the game felt a bit much initially, but as long as you don’t mind putting the hours in you’ll appreciate having even more cardboard content to dive into.
The Royal Writ has a whole lot to offer for Deck building fans, and this review hasn’t even scratched the surface of its bonus challenge modes and unlockable units. It’s just a slight shame that to really enjoy this cornucopia of Roguelike content you’ll really have to push through those early hours of not knowing the best way forward. That magic feeling of getting better when playing repeated runs just doesn’t quite hit in The Royal Writ, and it makes it a bit of a slog to start.
The Royal Writ is a charming and dense Roguelike deck builder that’s totally different to anything else the genre has to offer. With a vibrant medieval framing, seriously clever mechanics and a whole lot of content it really is the total deck building package, just be prepared to put in the hours to become someone worthy of wearing the crown.
