Pride month is a time to celebrate all things queer, and as gaming as a medium evolves we continue to see more and more LGBTQIA+ representation in our video games. I love that as the years go by romance options evolve, characters feature more fleshed out queer backstories, and we can even create our own LGBTQ protagonists to play as. This certainly wasn’t the case back when I was playing games on my Super Nintendo as a young gay, but what if it was? What if the beloved characters of the Super Mario franchise were actually queer icons?
Obviously there’s no reason to apply queer roles to characters from a colourful mascot platformer, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun to do. This is very much a tongue in cheek and campy list, and obviously isn’t canon to the series at large. Now sit back and relax as we fly the pride flag across the Mushroom Kingdom, and celebrate this fabulous month by taking one more trip down Rainbow Road.
Mario and Peach – The Straights
There’s no real way to pretend that Mario and Peach aren’t the most cishet members of the Mario universe, living out the straight fantasy of hero and damsel in distress over and over again. We don’t hold this against them though (much) because they surround themselves with a rainbow of LGBTQ friends and enemies, and never throw a strop about gender roles in sports when playing tennis and golf. They are welcomed at any and all pride celebrations across the kingdom, and ensure that all queer arts groups are well funded by the royal treasury.
Luigi – Questioning
Luigi may not have found himself yet, but with the support of his friends and famous brother he’ll get there in the end. Learning that life is more about the journey than the destination, he’ll find his way with the help of his drag momma Professor E. Gadd (thanks Nintendo for giving a character a drag name and making this easy for me).
Yoshi – Trans Masc
The main and most beloved Yoshi in the Mario series is male, and Yoshi also openly and proudly lays eggs. This goofy and lovable trans guy is a pillar of the queer community, offering free rides on his back to anyone who needs to get to the LGBTQ support group held at New Donk City every Wednesday.
Toad and Toadette – Genderfluid
Toads and Toadettes are all part of a big genderfluid species, who happily switch between spotted hats to suit how they’re feeling on any given day. Toads are generally thought of as the twinks of the Mushroom Kingdom, and get more attention at Pride celebrations than anyone else. Before you mention it I am well aware that there are usually more Toads than Toadettes, but that’s the patriarchy for you.
Daisy – Lesbian
Daisy has always known she’s a lesbian, and thanks to the lovely inclusive royal family of the Mushroom Kingdom it’s never been an issue for her. Admittedly it came as a shock to Luigi when he tried to make her the Peach to his Mario, but on reflection he’s not sure this relationship was right for him anyway. Always playing sports and trash talking her rivals, Daisy is a rough and tough role model for the lesbian community.
Donkey Kong – Asexual
The character I relate to most on this list, Donkey Kong is a hunk who doesn’t care about hooking up. This big furry fella only has eyes for bananas, and we’re purely talking potassium loaded fruit here. Back in the original Donkey Kong Country he tried to fit in by pretending to be infatuated with Candy Kong, but now he’s confident enough to know he’s happier swinging solo around Kong Island.
Rosalina – Trans Femme
The mysterious and magical trans girl of your dreams, Rosalina is already adored by the real world LGBTQ community. This carries across to the Mushroom Kingdom too, where she gets millions of views on her spectacular makeup tutorials. Rosalina is so much more than a pretty face though, and is actually the one who added the prideful colours to Rainbow Road.
Birdo – Intersex
The original canonical queer gaming character, Birdo fits the role of Intersex to a tee. Birdo made it through the darker days of the Mushroom Kingdom by protesting for the rights of the LGBTQ community, and now is always at the front of any pride month parades. Birdo can’t even remember the last time they bought a drink down at Wario’s place, and deservedly so.
Wario – Gay
Owner of a drag bar down in Diamond City, Wario is a queen that makes Ru Paul seem small time. The plus sized realness of Lotta Bucks has to be seen to be believed, especially in her iconic money miniskirt. You wouldn’t think that farting in a lip sync battle would go down well, but Wario makes it work and keeps the cash rolling in from all the Goomba regulars.
Waluigi – Pansexual
Waluigi is a trashy pansexual icon, and you probably didn’t need to click on this list to figure that out. With flamboyant outfits, a penchant for crotch chopping and a whole lot of love to give, Waluigi is a wild party animal. This is probably the reason he’s never made it onto the Super Smash Bros roster, but maybe one of these days he’ll settle down and join the fight.
Bowser Jr – Bisexual
Living in the shadow of the king of an evil army has always been tough for Bowser Jr, and when he realised he was bisexual he was worried about telling his all powerful dad. He didn’t need to be though, because the only thing fiercer than Bowser’s fiery breath is his love for his Bi son. If you ever spot the King of the Koopas at a Pride event he’ll be wearing his “Free Dad Hugs” shirt, to let the kingdom know he’s got love for all of the LGBTQ community.
Boo – Non-binary
With no physical body to speak of, Boo laughs at your pathetic gender binary. Boo lives on their own plain of existence, and is accepted for this at every Ghost House in the land. In recent years they have been trying to tell anyone who will listen that they actually want to be called Non-Boonary now, and we’re still trying to work out if they’re joking.
