As someone who is always looking for his next platforming fix, I’m always intrigued when a platformer comes along that’s more focused on telling an interesting story than jumping across chasms. Most of us are fairly familiar with jumping around 2D environments at this point, so it makes sense to use this as a backdrop for narrative I suppose. Quantum Witch is absolutely a 2D platformer that focuses more on story than anything else, and it’s also fabulously queer so is perfect for Pride month.
Ren is just your average twenty four year old shepherdess, living in an all female lesbian utopia. Life is almost too perfect for Ren, with a girlfriend she’s bonded to and a job that seems to involve nothing more than chasing down escaped faer (sheep). There’s much more to life in Hus than meets the eye though, especially when you start discovering secret passages that lead to mysterious portals. The twists and turns this game takes really must be seen to be believed, and I’ll do my best not to spoil any of them in this review.
First things first though, those pesky faer have escaped again. After a brief investigation of your house to learn more about Ren and her other half, you’ll be sent jumping around the village looking for missing livestock. Ren is fairly easy to control with a very basic move-set, and you’ll never really have your platforming skills tested for this to be a worry. Instead you’ll be exploring the small village of Hus, which has a lot of depth, charm, and unique inhabitants. The market is full of various video game characters (or at least parodies of them) selling items from their games, there’s a bathhouse where more suggestive activities take place, and of course there’s a cult that worships a giant lampshade. My rollercoaster ride of a time with Quantum Witch dipped to its lowest in this early exploratory period though, to the point of me almost giving up playing.
This was entirely because of the lack of direction you’re given at the start of the game, and with very specific people or objects to interact with to progress I hit new roadblocks constantly. I’d spend twenty minutes exploring the entire village at day and then at night, find nothing, and then turn the game off in frustration – and this happened multiple times.
One specific time I needed to punch a wall that gave no indication it would be destroyed by a single punch (a move you barely use in this combatless game) and I don’t understand how I was supposed to know to do this. There’s a talking skeleton who is supposed to give hints to help with this, but most of the time I’d visit him and he’d tell me a bad joke instead of assisting me on my adventure. At its worst Quantum Witch feels like an outdated point and click adventure game, but I’m glad I pushed through to see what came next.
After finally forging ahead past these frustrating moments, I was granted magic powers. These allow Ren to jump on objects in the background as if they’re right in front of her, and mean you can reach all sorts of hidden locations. More importantly you can change the vibrant effect of your magic to the colour of a pride flag of your choice, and I was not aware of how much I needed asexual-magic in my asexual life. The game really opens up when you gain these powers, and before you know it you’ll be going into different dimensions and seeing the wilder side of Quantum Witch.
As you progress deeper into the game you’ll meet actual gods who keep the world in balance, and even confront them. When I first learned about this facet, I was concerned this would be where things took a more serious turn, but the sublime writing means that isn’t the case at all. Even in the most intense conversations there’s a levity to the way Ren talks, as a regular human who is simply done with this shit. That doesn’t mean there aren’t some emotional moments, though, based on your personal choices anyway.
Quantum Witch will only take you around three hours to complete, but it has so many paths and endings to discover. It almost reminds me of The Hundred Line: Last Defense Academy, where post credits the game actually flourishes even more. Now you know more about this dimensionally damaged world you can use that knowledge to seek out better endings for your favourite characters, or even just fuck things up if that’s more your style. Text becomes skippable in later playthroughs too, so it feels much snappier when you jump in for a third or fourth time.
After all is said and done, it’s hard to really know where I sit with Quantum Witch. Those early hours of getting stuck are some of my least favourite gaming hours in recent memory, and I can’t just overlook them. With perseverance, though, I was able to discover the joy of Quantum Witch: the wonderfully written characters, the messed up world, and oh so many endings. If you don’t mind having to bash your head against a wall a bit (or just use a guide perhaps) you’ll find a lot of joy in Quantum Witch, but it’s far from friction free.
